Lost somewhere in a maze like complex otherwise known as a Vegas shopping Mall I stumbled upon a Spanx shop. Spanx are of course the answer to all women's prayers who prefer food over exercise and perhaps of some women who prefer the latter. Having never tried on a pair I sheepishly entered the store hoping to be enlightened. Truth be told dear friend, I love American food, the kitch and indulgence of it all, from the curliest of fries to the crispiest of chickens!
So having arrived in America a short 3 days prior I had decided to eat as much as my little America loving stomach desired. Fast forward to the current moment with me entering the gates of Spanx like Indiana Jones on a mission, I knew they were my only option.
You see I had bought with me a rhinestone, crystal studded body con dress to wear in Vegas, after all where else would one wear a dress of such a description. Never one to shy away from a fashion risk I embraced the dress and all its nudey, glistening potential. The one problem that stood in the way of my Britney Spears reenactment was the poochy tummy I had developed, since my stomach had won the battle of 'what shall we eat in Vegas' over my logical brain.
Having purchased a pair of Spanx I carried them to my hotel room like the squirrel from Ice Age, these were after all my ticket to a tight tummy. Having put them on under my dress that evening I felt confident. The marketing team at Spanx don't lie. These babies work! One big problem however, these babies don't work so well on a BABY like me. You see dear friend, I was the kid at school who turned their clothes inside out because the seams bothered me with their abrasive touch, don't you know! Madam does not like to be confined or itched apparently.
I found myself pulling at the seam all night, tugging the leg where it concluded it's existence on my thigh. Having finished dinner I took up a new and very attractive hobby of sticking my thumb down my dress to pull at the elastic that rested on my stomach. Overall, monkeys like me shouldn't wear anything so sophisticated, however I did look like Britney that night so thank you to the kind people at Spanx!
This moves me swiftly on to ONENESS-PT. If you read my blog you will know I took up a five week training program with Jacinta who is a 'marriage counselor for the body'. By that I mean she somehow through Jedi mind tricks got me to like (I didn't say love) exercise and more impressively she got me to like spending time working on my body, or as she puts it 'taking time out for you.'
So in conclusion of my five week under taking I won't bore you with details of our exercise plan or tell you how lovely the woman is and how she quickly became the high light of my day, which by the way is all true, instead I will tell you something much more practical.
Jacinta gave me inbuilt Spanx.
To put it plainly had I been on the five week plan with her prior to Vegas I wouldn't have needed to squeeze my thin but soft little body into shaping underwear. I now actually have shape and if you poke me, it doesn't give so much (please don't poke me). Last night was date night and I noticed a strange phenomena, when wearing a tight dress I no longer have to hold in my pooch or stick out my butt, so it's safe to say, I FINALLY understand what a personal trainer can do.
Thank you Jacinta.